Young Guy Made A Mistake, Needs Help

Hi guys, my name is Steve and I am a 24 year old dude with a 2 year old daughter that is getting divorced.

My wife had serious suicidal depression for 3 years and I just couldn't take the abuse anymore, so I left in hopes she would see what I did for her.

It backfired. She is cold and unemotional and wants divorce.

I'm struggling to focus and feel sad a lot. If anyone has a good set of hacks, I'd appreciate it.

I currently own an emwave2, but I'm struggling to use it. I do drink bpc every morning, and I have lost over 50 lbs in the last year.

I don't know what I need, but any help would be appreciated.


  • Hey Steve,


    Welcome to the forums.. 

    Sounds like a rollercoaster ride so far buddy!!


    Is the 50lb a good 50lb or is it due to stress and malnutrition?


    People come to this forum as a means of healing, bettering and optimising themselves.. so you have come to the right place and we can help you..

    Man, suicidal depression when its a loved one is such a tough decision to make, you feel like you wanna stay and you can be the key to their recovery...but sometimes you cant, sometimes it will end up eating you up and turnin you into something you dont wanna be, so you left... Don't beat yourself up about that.. Sometimes that takes more balls to do, to walk away from it.. 


    When it comes to focusing better the first thing you need is a relaxed mind, whenever I feel the cacophony of mental chatter I listen to some relaxing music, apparently the more random the sounds the more focus your brain directs to what you are doing, something like a city scape sound.. Have a play with relaxing your mind, slowing your thoughts down.  You will not focus if your mind is rushing at 100mph.


    As for your mood, you are going through a tough period in your life, I dont know you or your mental state so its hard to prescribe any supplements or techniques.  But, things I have used when I have gone through shitty times in my life are: A gym, get in a gym, pump some iron.. the gym saved my life I know it.. Mindfulness exercises like yoga etc helped slow my thoughts down and give me some clarity.. A major one you could do if you could find one is a floatation tank... Its an amazing experience, it made me have a look at all the things that were going on in my life and really think about them, really give them the attention they needed to sort them out and its a time of personal reflection... It will do you good..! 


    other supps i know can help are 5htp which helps create serotonin, aniracetam can help with focus and anxiety, have a look at nootropics and see which ones benefit you.. if you're into psychedelics and are familiar with the joe rogan podcast then you may want to listen to his recent podcast with Amber Lyon. very interesting.. Anyhow 


    It seems like you are in the middle of a storm so maybe the emwave2 is feeling a little like a wet raincoat for you... Watch all of daves videos and listen to any relevant podcasts.. One thing is you have made the first step to recovery by coming here.. When you realise you are recovered you will be 10 x stronger than you were before armed with the tools to conquer anything you want..

     \m/(>.<)\m/ - my rockband!! \m/(>.<)\m/

  • Make the best of your current situation and stay as positive as possible.  Make healthy choices daily both physically and emotionally and refuse to become involved in draining and unhealthy conversations.  Do your part to keep things civil.  Cultivate good sleep habits so that true healing and recharging happens. 

  • I think the recommendation of 5HTP is great as are all the things Hotspoons listed. 


    I would add that you need to be careful with adrenal fatigue. I would keep up with the BPC but if you are feeling super stressed, try eating like it shows on the new BP infographic...that means breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make sure to get some carbs every day if you fear you are heading into adrenal fatigue. Maybe take some things to support your adrenals.


    Good luck and stay positive and strong for yourself and your daughter.

    Help me get my blog up and running...check it out for recipes and info


  • Hi Steve,


    Try and keep busy, especially with things you love.


    It may be one of the last things you want to do, but being around others can help, so hang out with friends and do something you enjoy. And I don't mean the sit and around talk about how bad things are, but get out and do something. Preferably with people you enjoy being around.


    If you have the money, rent a Zengar NeurOptimal (I read somewhere it's about $600 a month) or find a provider near you and go for some sessions. That, or BrainStateTech has a brain-balancing system that can help a lot with all kinds of issues, especially from stress, etc. See if there's a provider in your area and talk to them about what you'd like to experience/achieve. In this case, just dealing with extreme stress/life experience/emotional trauma.


    You'll see improvements from either one in additional areas of your life as well.


    Wishing you well!

  • I would strongly recommend following the only truly reliable advice anyone has in situations like this: listen the to your heart.

    I use Heart Rythym Meditation for this. .

    There is a course for beginners starting up soon if you are interested. .

    Failing that I would recommend reading Living from the Heart

    ..and also meditating whilst listening to Susannah Bair audio guided Introduction to Heart Rythym Meditation

    PS I am not employed by the above organisation.

    I hope this helps.
  • try getting laid. if you have problem finding women, has some good stuff.

  • get out in the sun even for 10-15 minutes a day. try a guided meditation to relax a little. good luck.

  • ZenfoodZenfood ɹǝqɯǝɯ pǝɔuɐʌp∀
    edited March 2014

    Read the book "Ask and it is given". It will make you realize that no one is the source of your happiness except you, buddy.

    You are your thoughts. You are weak if you let the behaviours of others manipulate how you feel... you are stronger than you think, you have unlimited powers.

  • Tao te Ching has saved many of my friends before they took the jump.  I am a christian but I feel at peace when I listen or read the Tao. And like the above recommendation, making other personally connections to people is the best way to get over this woman or deal with her past.

  • Lol, is this topic a joke? Not sure why you chose this forum to make your single post but ok.


    Go see a Cognitive-Behavioral Therapist and start practicing mindfulness meditation when you feel up to it.

  • Hello, Smoore.


    First, understand that WHATEVER happens, it will be difficult.  The only way out of it is through it.


    Breathe.  Every day, create a breathing structure -- deep controlled breaths in and out.


    Access the best parts of yourself, as best you can -- the understanding, the compassionate, the kind, the reasonable.


    Try to meditate.  Tara Brach really helps me -- and on her site there are free guided meditations.

    Take everything life offers you that is beneficial to you, and move away from what isn't.  Tough times call for the wisest distribution of your resources.  Go to the people who truly love you and want the best for you.  Move away from the ones that do not.


    I wish you the very best of luck.  Ignore the snap-judgment of people, like the poster above for example -- they will always be a part of your life, in good times and in bad.  Nothing you can do about it, so move on and don't take it in.


    Breathe, learn, love yourself.

  • Of course she wants a divorce. Abandoning someone in their time of need doesn't exactly strengthen the proverbial ties that bind.

    My husband and I have both gone through depression, and even though it SUCKS for the other partner, at some point you have to make a DECISIVE decision to either leave, or stay.

    I'm sorry if this is harsh; she probably deserves to be left, for all I know about your personal situation (which isn't much, and I apologize for any judgment here). But it's foolish to leave someone, and then expect to be welcomed back with open arms. That not called "back-firing"... That's called "cause and effect."

    My advice: work on your decisiveness. Know yourself; make a decision and stick with it. It's okay to leave; it's okay to stay... but you can't have it both ways. You don't get to eat your cake and have it too; none of us do. That's life.

    The worst place to live, is on the fence.

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