What's The Worst You've Seen?

Ok, maybe not the worst I've seen, but it's pretty bad...


I saw a mom mixing Strawberry Nesquik in with her kid's formula.  :???:


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  • Kids don't have to be perfect nutritionally, as long as you're not feeding them poison.


     


    You can do the whole "better baby" thing for a kid and he could still turn out fucked up with the wrong kind of parents.


  • John BrissonJohn Brisson The Legend Formerly Known as Ron Swanson ✭✭✭


    Kids don't have to be perfect nutritionally, as long as you're not feeding them poison.


     


    You can do the whole "better baby" thing for a kid and he could still turn out fucked up with the wrong kind of parents.




     


    I agree, but even some children with great parents turn into serial killers.

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  • NoogisNoogis
    edited April 2014


    Kids don't have to be perfect nutritionally, as long as you're not feeding them poison.

    .


    I hear this a lot from people trying to justify feeding their kids convenient crap. No saying that's you, but it's usually transparent when patents get defensive about what they feed kids who have no choice but to eat what they are given.


    And most things in the modern diet are poison, it's just a slow poison.



    I think strawberry nesquik in baby formula beats the stuff I can think of.
  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭

    I've heard stories in the past (not anyone I know personally) of people putting coke or even beer in baby bottles for their kids and having a big old laugh.


     


    A lot of the bad parenting I've seen extends far beyond diet; parents who have violent or otherwise dysfunctional relationships with their children. I mean, obviously most kids eat like shit. It's just the reality of the world we live in. When most parents don't even know how to feed themselves properly, how can they be expected to make the right choices for their kids? But it's the other stuff that bugs me more. Spanking, threatening kids in public, things of that nature. The flip-side are the kids who don't know how to act in public and basically run wild like savages because their parents never taught them. Or those older kids who take on the violent role and basically push around their older parents-- saw a high-school aged kid recently shout down his elderly father (poor old guy hobbled around and had a busted arm) for literally no reason. Can't imagine what sort of upbringing he must've had to make him think that such reactions are acceptable. And I don't buy the "some kids have great parents and still grow up to be Jack the Ripper" idea. SOMETHING has to have happened to incite such tendencies in a child. But, I digress.


     


    People are fucking stupid.


    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima

     

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  • HazakinsHazakins Graveyard shift putting me in the Grave!

    When I walk through a store, I wish more parents would discipline their kids in public. Seems like everyone lets kids run rapid and kids know they can get away with it in public..IMO 


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  • Andy BoskampAndy Boskamp Andy Boskamp


    I've heard stories in the past (not anyone I know personally) of people putting coke or even beer in baby bottles for their kids and having a big old laugh.


     


    A lot of the bad parenting I've seen extends far beyond diet; parents who have violent or otherwise dysfunctional relationships with their children. I mean, obviously most kids eat like shit. It's just the reality of the world we live in. When most parents don't even know how to feed themselves properly, how can they be expected to make the right choices for their kids? But it's the other stuff that bugs me more. Spanking, threatening kids in public, things of that nature. The flip-side are the kids who don't know how to act in public and basically run wild like savages because their parents never taught them. Or those older kids who take on the violent role and basically push around their older parents-- saw a high-school aged kid recently shout down his elderly father (poor old guy hobbled around and had a busted arm) for literally no reason. Can't imagine what sort of upbringing he must've had to make him think that such reactions are acceptable. And I don't buy the "some kids have great parents and still grow up to be Jack the Ripper" idea. SOMETHING has to have happened to incite such tendencies in a child. But, I digress.


     


    People are fucking stupid.




     


    Yes!

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  • When I walk through a store, I wish more parents would discipline their kids in public. Seems like everyone lets kids run rapid and kids know they can get away with it in public..IMO 




     


    I think people are too stuck on this "discipline" thing, which is unfortunate. The problem with a lot of kids is not from being "disciplined" but simply the parents not caring. You take the TIME to raise your kids properly, and TEACH them how to behave and respect you and other people, and punishment needn't be the automatic scape goat. "That dad doesn't beat his son, that's why his son is so misbehaved!".



  • I agree, but even some children with great parents turn into serial killers.




     


    I disagree. Not possible.

  • StevoStevo Upgrade in Progress


    I disagree. Not possible.




    =====


    There are still other influences like friends, school peers, and the neighbourhood that can have an effect. Maybe not to the serial killer extreme, but to be awful kids. 


    I know one family in particular with great parents, I couldn't fault them (unless I look at their food ;-)). Kids 1 and 3 came out really well, but kid 2 is a walking disaster. The kind of person the world would be better without. Something happened there. I don't think good parenting is enough.

  • John BrissonJohn Brisson The Legend Formerly Known as Ron Swanson ✭✭✭

    My book Fix Your Gut, is offered on Amazon for $9.99.

     

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    Please join or like the Fix your Gut Facebook. Also please add me on twitter @FixYourGutJB.

     

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  • That could just mean the "normal" sibling didn't have the same reaction to life. Could be that one kid was treated differently. Families have secrets, and we could never know the whole truth.


    I would not say that it's not possible but veeeery unlikely. Barring some severe brain abnormality.


    People do become products of their environment.


    I believe in co created destinies, and that we often plan major life events before we ever incarnate here. Who could fathom what purpose people like this have, as terrible as it is to our current sensibilities.


    Oh really? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2545959/My-sweet-sister-serial-killer-One-girls-grow-murderer-sister-describes-hauntingly-drugs-sparked-descent-savagery.html

  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭





     


    If her parents had stopped feeding her wheat, this never would've happened. Lol.


     


    Interesting thing there. BOTH sisters grew up to be murderers. One just so happened to be in the military. So apparently that makes her well-adjusted and "OK". Plus the one sister got involved in drugs and a bad scene. It's doubtful that these girls lived optomized lives in any capacity. Like, seriously. Homeschool your kids, folks. It's one of the most important things you can do.

    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima

     

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  • edited April 2014

    i saw a woman put a nipple on a bottle of coca cola zero. aspartame. i even asked her, like an idiot, "duuhh, dodnt dat have a lot of athpartame???"


     


    she smiled blushingly and said "yes!"


    ---

  • RekaReka ✭✭✭

    That article is sickly sensational. Showing a photo of two girls and talking cheesy stuff about how innocent they look? Blaming cannabis for violent behaviour? Overprotectiveness from parents as the best treatment for kids development? Suspicious story of a sweet little girlie girl who then turned around and expressed aggressiveness. "The drugs triggered something dark inside her"?


    Sensationalist cheesy tabloid story about someone who turned to drinking and bad choices. But just because they made a photo of her when she was a little girl it doesn't make it true that she was a little flower inside. We all have experienced anger, aggression, repressed it, expressed it, whatever. If you repress it for a long time people may wonder when it turns around. If someone drinks a lot it gets even worse. You can have a seemingly normal life and experience the same level of aggression, just express it in a different way.


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  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭

    Of course, it was a Daily Mail article...


    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima

     

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  • I'm so afraid of having kids and having to argue with in laws and even partners about food choice... It terrifies me!! 


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  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭
    edited April 2014


    I'm so afraid of having kids and having to argue with in laws and even partners about food choice... It terrifies me!! 




    ____________


     


    No need to be terrified!


     


    If you decide to marry/enter into a long-term relationship with someone and have kids, you just have to make sure to find someone you can trust. This is hard, admittedly, but it's possible with some doing. Make sure that you're on the same page about things like food choices long BEFORE you have kids. You need to be in a relationship with someone for a while, so that you can have some hard times together and see how each of you reacts to stress, too. Make sure that you can both work together when the going gets tough! Find yourself a Bulletproof/Paleo chick and you're all set on that front!


     


    In-laws are another subject altogether, however. In my case, my in-laws were abusive shits, so my wife and I cut them out of our lives a few years back. Few things have been better for our marriage. My parents are conventional, chronic cardio/vegetarian people, but they're aware of our dietary expectations and have stopped buying juice and crackers for the kids when we come over. As long as the in-laws/parents are semi-reasonable people, it shouldn't be a problem. And if they aren't, well, why the heck are you keeping in touch with them, anyhow?


     


    Another option: Don't marry or have kids. This is probably the most efficient path for some. Family life isn't for everyone, so be sure to think long and hard about whether or not you'd rather remain an eligible Bulletproof Bachelor for a while longer!  :D There are pros and cons to both sides, to be sure.


     


    Whatever you do, though, don't start off feeding your kids conventional crap and wheat. Though they're eating pretty paleo most of the time these days, my kids still demand it now and then. And, being the softie (or perhaps idiot) that I am, I cave and let them have a Happy Meal or some candy sometimes. Growing up in this world, they'll be exposed to junk food at some point. I think it'd be a lot easier if their tastebuds grew accustomed to proper food for a few years BEFORE becoming corrupted by hyperpalatable garbage, though.


    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima

     

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  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man
    edited April 2014

    I feel somewhat guilty for feeding my kids the processed crap but the primary source of nutrients for them is a good multi (with K2 & D3) and organic whole milk. They get their fair share of mac-n-cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, dried fruits, but no juice and strict limits on desserts. I hope to get them gluten free and really clean up their diets as they get more flexible in their eating but at 4 & 6 there's only so much wretching, gagging and food wasting I can stand to watch--or financially afford! I butter their foods with Kerrygold and do try to prep some meals very low-carb and have even let them taste my BP coffee--son loved it, daughter grimmaced. I have blended brain octane into their milk at breakfast before but didn't notice anything different.


     


    The very worst parenting I see, outside of the aforementioned physical (and psychological) abuse is the parenting as friends or equals. Since when should a parent ask their kid to behave with manners no less?!? Um, you're the adult, you're in charge, put your damn foot down and take charge. TELL them what to do. Tell them to stop. Kids want that as they test and learn boundaries. "Now, Billy, can you please put that truck back on the shelf so we can leave now?" What's the kid say? "NO!" That's one word I think too many parents just can't bring themselves to say, let alone stand behind. And yeah, when appropriate, a spanking or a firm-tug on an arm is OK. 


     


    The worst parenting I don't see is the lack of participation in the child's education AFTER school. Like the teacher's the only one responsible for their learning. Get involved and help...parenting is hard...if it's not, you're probably doing it wrong.


  • NoogisNoogis
    edited April 2014
    I ask my kid to do things all the time. He is 5 and I respect him. He appreciates the respect and behaves like a person, not a drone or inferior. He respects me as a person, not as a dictator.


    He does things because he wants to be helpful, and not because he is forced to.
  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man
    edited April 2014


    I ask my kid to do things all the time. He is 5 and I respect him. He appreciates the respect and behaves like a person, not a drone or inferior. He respects me as a person, not as a dictator.


    He does things because he wants to be helpful, and not because he is forced to.




     


    Asking kids to do things that they could do is one thing..."could you get me the screwdriver over there on the floor?" Or "would you like to watch Wall-E or Finding Nemo?" But things they need to do or must do right now, like, "can you please stop pitching a holy fit here in the store?" or "is OK if we leave now?" or "can you please pick up your room?" Tell me you don't ask your kid to look both ways when crossing the street...at our house, that's not optional and there are severe consequences for ignoring it. My daughter made me proud by getting in trouble with the bus driver because she takes the time to look left-right-and-left again instead of looking to him for the "all-clear." In our house we have a saying that nobody is more vested in looking out for your own safety than you. At conferences the vice principal came in for our talk to discuss the bus matter and they sided with us...they're surprised that a kid is so well trained in safety. I trust my daughter's judgement more than I trust a tired, under-paid, stressed-out school bus driver using mirrors to give the all-clear. It took years of practice, reminders and probably more than one swat to the butt or scolding to make it stick...she throws the brakes on when chasing a ball to the street. My son, the 4-year-old is improving. Training works.


     


    There's a place for civility and another for urgency. I wasn't clear that there are times when I give choice and solicit their opinion but there are times when the foot needs to be put down and there's a choice no longer in the court of the child. My kids love to help...now...last weekend they dropped their playtime outside to come scoop yard waste into a trashcan for me so it turned into family raking. They also love to help me work on the cars--changing out snow tires, change oil, prep for races, etc. Mark my words, though, neither yours nor mine will want to help every time or all the time depending on their mood/age.


     


    My point is, by neglecting to EVER pull the dictator card, you're doing your child a disservice. $0.02


  • ACH85ACH85 ✭✭
    edited April 2014


    The very worst parenting I see, outside of the aforementioned physical (and psychological) abuse is the parenting as friends or equals. 




     


    ----


     


    There's definitely a time for respect (most of the time) but kids are not equals. The only time I got spanked growing up is when I was running into the street when a car was coming. Seems like a valid spanking, since there's not really time to discuss the consequences. As a parent you need to establish that that action results in immediate pain. 


     


    I've seen plenty of kids pitch fits in restaurants and their parents not do anything, which I think is totally inappropriate. Take the kid outside, get your meal to go, and let everyone else dine in peace.


     


    The worst I've seen, though, was at a NICE restaurant – like $25 a plate – a kid who was maybe 10 started using the silverware as drum sticks and the plates and glasses as drums. Loud enough to make it difficult to pay attention to a conversation a few tables away. Then the kid's mom looked at the kid doing this, kind of cocked her head a bit, then... picked up her own silverware and joined the band. They played the platedrums for a good 5 minutes. One of those moments where I'm 100% comfortable going over and talking to the parents, but know that if I do, I'm going to say or do something I regret. 


  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man
    edited April 2014


     


    There's definitely a time for respect (most of the time) but kids are not equals. The only time I got spanked growing up is when I was running into the street when a car was coming. Seems like a valid spanking, since there's not really time to discuss the consequences. As a parent you need to establish that that action results in immediate pain. 


     




     


    This was almost exactly the same circumstance of the first time we (I) spanked our daughter, then 2 something. She tried to just bolt in the parking lot and I can't even recall for what. I lunged and caught her arm and just swatted that bottom. It was total instinct to match the sheer panic/terror I just felt. I figure, if the action could seriously hurt or kill, and they just got lucky it didn't, you've gotta replace the missing stimuli with some prompt (no point if you miss the opportunity) stinging pain (fully non-permanent) to bookmark the safety violation in their brains. Timing is key, too, I think...ya can't come home from work and spank a kid because mom gave you a bad report...the moment has just passed in their brains...that's the time to tell them they were in the wrong but that's not gonna do a lot of good.


     


    The other one that drives me nuts is when a parent says "we don't say that" or "we don't do that." I tell my kids YOU don't say that...as an adult I can say and do different things because I have a different set of rules...I can drive a car, they can't. I can say shit if I want to. Heck, I've laughed if the context was suitable and a kid swears. But then remind them they can't say that at school, or in front of strangers or grandparents because YOU will get in trouble. Words are situational and I want them to know that as soon as possible. There are times, though, that we is appropriate...like, WE don't call others names--I'd rather have my kid say shit out loud at school, when they got a problem wrong at school than call another kid dumb--rather they know not to say shit at that time but as a matter of situational difference. And child or adult, we shouldn't tolerate cruelty.


  • There Is no valid time to hit a person, unless you are defending yourself. That includes small defenseless people.
  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man
    edited April 2014


    There Is no valid time to hit a person, unless you are defending yourself. That includes small defenseless people.




     


    You're entitled to your opinion but don't pass it off as moral fact. Spanking, in the invested nature of preventing future injury, is a fair, and useful training tool. It's not the same as hitting out of anger, and it's certainly not to be equated to slapping/punching someone in the face. The whiny, soft millenials that have been raised by 1990's negotiators are inept and selfish babies in the workplace. I prefer the old-school (paleo if you will) discipline approach. My kids don't run in parking lots or bolt across streets...hope your training choices are as effective as mine. Which were, of course, time-tested by my parents, and their parents, and their parents, among all the others that believe in spanking. Remember, your kids are not just people, they are yours...you control them entirely and cede control over time as they learn about life.


     


    That said, spanking is extremely rare at our house. It's been months...


  • NoogisNoogis
    edited April 2014
    It doesn't really make sense to forbid me from passing my opinion off as moral fact, and then proceed to dictate moral fact about hitting kids. Where they are hit may vary the abuse, but regardless.


    I subscribe to the non aggression principal. It applies to everyone, not just those who have graduated to "equal" person status.


    It's all about perspective. "Old school" discipline included wives and slaves as well. I would not hit my wife, or my child or my neighbor, unless myself or someone else was in danger.


    These are my beliefs, you do what you want. I'm not perfect after all, I was an infantry soldier. My philosophy was less refined then. But that fact seems hypocritical any way you look at it. We do what we feel is best at the time.


    To clarify, my wife and I are definitely the bosses. A child doesn't have the capacity to be always doing what they need to, but I think some people treat kids like less than people, or even property.
  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man


    It doesn't really make sense to forbid me from passing my opinion off as moral fact, and then proceed to dictate moral fact about hitting kids. Where they are hit may vary the abuse, but regardless.


    I subscribe to the non aggression principal. It applies to everyone, not just those who have graduated to "equal" person status.


    It's all about perspective. "Old school" discipline included wives and slaves as well. I would not hit my wife, or my child or my neighbor, unless myself or someone else was in danger.


    These are my beliefs, you do what you want. I'm not perfect after all, I was an infantry soldier. My philosophy was less refined then. But that fact seems hypocritical any way you look at it. We do what we feel is best at the time.


    To clarify, my wife and I are definitely the bosses. A child doesn't have the capacity to be always doing what they need to, but I think some people treat kids like less than people, or even property.




     


    You're right, I shouldn't tell you what to do...I should have phrased that opener to "you shouldn't" rather than simply "don't." Good points and I always welcome discussion...my statements are all qualified...and I should make clear that they are mine.


     


    My wife and I just don't view spanking as aggression ... it's to make a lasting mental impression, a memory of the connection between what they did and a consequence. The sting of a spank is a surrogate for the injury that could have happened had the spilled the bacon grease on themselves, knocked a knife off the table onto their sibling's foot, been run over by a car, attacked by a dog, but by luck were not. But this is also why spankings are so rare. I believe there's an age where talk of consequences works and am pretty sure 2-8 probably isn't it. Pain is, after all, why you don't keep touching hot light bulbs, going out in the winter without shoes, etc. for all the other things we have lawyers and warnings stamped on things.


     


    I think pretty far back, hitting your spouse has been seen as abuse...the concept of a spouse is to have an equal and you don't discipline equals. Just because the general public, or cultures turned a blind eye on abuse doesn't diminish the fact that it was a crime, and not discipline. Slavery? Ouch, not sure I want to go there, but even among those alive at that ugly period in several cultures' times at least some didn't approve on moral grounds for slavery, let alone hitting them. Yeah, others, to a highly variable degree, did not. I'm going to be mad, though, the day spanking a, er, your child is outlawed.

     


    Knowing the somewhat nuanced view we have, to make the message consistent with the kids about respecting humans/animals/plants/bugs we always preach compassion for those that are vulnerable. And appreciation for things that die for our benefit, like food. I'm not a perfect parent but I have a rationale and use the things that I learned being on the receiving end as a kid yet turned out to be a caring, compassionate adult. Maybe, because I spank my kids once a year or so, I'm not so compassionate, but I'd rather they not walk out in front of a truck someday at Target because all I ever did was talk to them about street crossing safety.


     


    I think we might be hijacking this thread...(doh!)

  • I think that's fair. You definitely have put more thought into this than someone who spanks in haste or out of anger. We can agree to disagree but I think we probably agree on most things.
  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭
    edited April 2014

    Y'all have been busy on this here Bulletproof forum today! First we're talking about Veganism, now spanking! Goodness.


     


    No, actually, let's discuss spanking in moral terms. Using violence against another person in anything other than self defense is patently immoral-- especially when the target is incapable of putting up a good defense. It's bullying. It's lazy parenting. It shows a lack of compassion and maturity on the part of the parent and, if you like, I could pass along some interesting research showing how absolutely detrimental it is to a growing child, psychologically.


     


    ACH85, if you're running into traffic as a kid, there are a few problems. First, your parents haven't taught you it's a bad thing to do. Secondly, if you're young enough to do something that dumb, you shouldn't be out of your parents' sight. Either way, when a kid puts themselves in danger like that, it's a failing on the part of the parent. And I don't see how getting your ass whipped is going to somehow teach you a lesson about not playing in traffic. "Hey, you idiot kid! You worried the hell out of me and almost got smashed by a car! Instead of showing my concern over your well-being through compassion and showing you why it's a bad idea, I'm just going to hit you." I know a lot of people who look back at their childhoods and reflect on their beatings as a "good" thing, or as something that may have been justified. It's a victim mentality, and it's bullshit.


     


    Let me repeat. If your child is at risk of dumping bacon grease on themselves, getting bitten by wild dogs or almost knocking knives down on their siblings... then what kind of household are you running? At my house, we go to great pains to keep our kids away from dangerous shit. You won't find precariously-placed pots of boiling water, chemicals within easy reach or loaded handguns in the toybox. Like, seriously. If a kid gets into this shit, it's because YOU have made it available. And shit, using spanking as a surrogate? "You didn't get hurt, thankfully, so now I'm going to hurt you, so that you remember not to get hurt." That's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Are your children stupid? Are your children dogs, that they need their snouts smashed into the puddles of their urine? Do they need a physical reminder like that to learn not to do things that are not in their best interest? I highly doubt it.


     


    Just because you don't view spanking as aggression doesn't make it a non-violent act. At my house, we're all equals. Sure, my wife and I are de-facto leaders. We do our best to instill the habits we want to see in our kids and model the behaviors we want them to emulate. THIS is how you raise compassionate, rational kids. I mean, if you want to raise barbarians who rely on coercion and the initiation of force, then hit them, I guess.


     


    You know, next time your kid throws a fit at the grocery store, why not do a public execution? Just execute the kid, so that all of your kids, and all of the other kids in the vicinity, will know just how much of a badass you are, and how much shit you're not willing to put up with.


     


    My parents didn't hit me too much as a kid. I was fortunate, compared to a lot of kids I knew. But when they did do it, there were only ever two reactions: Fear and resentment. I cringe when I look back at being hit as a child. I wish that my parents had been more willing to talk with me, to teach me, rather than to resort to violence to get their points across. I'm 25 years old now, and my father is about 50. I tell you what, at 7 years old or whatever, I didn't have a choice but to comply when my dad screamed/hit me. Even if the point he was trying to make at the time was fallacious bullshit, it didn't matter: I couldn't defend myself. Now? He has no choice but to treat me with the utmost respect-- as an equal-- even when we have huge disagreements over stuff. You know why? Because if he raises a hand at me, I'll be eating my grass-fed beef out of the bottom of his skull.


     


    Can't wait until my dad gets to being senile, eating his crap vegetarian diet full of processed carbs. When he starts spilling boiling liquids on himself because he's old and clumsy, I'll give him a good smack. If he raises his voice at me, I'll give his wrinkly ass something to shout about. I'll berate him and smack him until it drives the lessons home and he changes his way of thinking!


     


    Or wait.


     


    Maybe I won't.


     


    Because being mean and violent to people who are helpless is stupid as fuck.


     


    Seriously. Sugar-coat it however you want. I have no control over what you do in your home. But if you're going to hit your kids, don't act like it's OK. There's a reason it makes you feel guilty. There's a reason you don't enjoy smacking your little ones. And one of the reasons the world is such a festering shit-hole is because we're raised in environments from an early age where stuff like this is considered "normal". Instead of smacking your kids for making a ruckus at a restaurant, try and raise mature children who know better than to perform a drum solo with their cutlery. When a kid fucks up, it's almost always a reflection on how shitty their parents are. Spanking won't fix that. Even if it curbs the behavior, it's only going to create a person who looks to solve their problems through force and aggression.


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  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭

    A nice primer:


     



    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima

     

    Let's be friends on MyFitnessPal!

  • Danno RedDanno Red Practical Man

    Actually, your dad's job is done...that's why he shouldn't spank you. The phase where spanking is useful in my mind is a narrow one where the brain is exploring the little one's world responding and logging based on pain/pleasure/curiosity.


    Are your kids crippled, Chouka? Mine can climb. They don't in the kitchen...anymore because we altered their behavior. Lazy parenting? You're making clueless, baseless accusations. I work my ass off as a parent. My wife works even harder. Not a single day in day care. And our 1st grader is reading at an 4th grade level, doing fractions, division, multiplication, etc. Favorite subject? Science. I teach her everything I know. She's into cars. The 4 year old? Going to kindergarten next year because he passed his entrance exam with flying colors. Neither one of them hit, bite, kick, or in any other way physically assault other kids. Not ONE disciplinary comment EVER from any of their teachers in their combined 6 years of pre-school, kindergarten and 1st grade (between the two of them). Nothing but glowing reviews from every teacher too, weird.


     


    If the only thing my parents taught me by spanking me that it gets kids to listen and change their behavior then I thank them. Why don't you pass those studies on for me to review so I can make sure no poor kiddies have their lives scarred by being yelled at or spanked. I don't ascribe to soft, new-age discipline...I see enough of that not working EVERY day while out and about and at work.


     


    Maybe you're right that I'm a shitty parent, but the evidence suggests otherwise. Maybe you were hit too frequently for un-realistic reasons...my house is safe as hell, dude...pot handles turned in, cutting boards/knives pushed back. Our kids weren't even allowed to put dishes in the dishwasher. They're learning respect. Albeit a different brand than yours, and maybe yours is better but we won't know until yours end up working for mine or mine for yours...or not at all...or incarceration as you'd probably expect of mine. I almost wondered if you had kids at all given your absolutist, pious stance...go figure...I've been wrong a lot in life no reason to think I am now. But you're being awfully judgmental of my kids without ever meeting them...maybe my kids will earn favor from you because they were disadvantaged victims of childhood abuse. Oh, and my kids aren't on meds...(yet) and neither am I...I survived spanking and being an alterboy without therapy and psychotropics. 


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