How To Tell Friends And Family About Our Sensativity?

I am having a problem with friends that are not bulletproof. I can not be in their house or car due to them always eating wheat, corn, and soy for what seems like every second of every day. Does anybody share this feeling? I have one last friend that I have kept due to her being really cool. She invited me to her house today and she ate dried cranberries and a gross nut mix right next to me. My stomach started hurting immediately. I had to leave right away.


Is there any way to keep being friends with her? I had a house keeper for a while, but she would not stop eating wheat, corn, and soy in her car while I was with her. I had to let her go. I am looking for a new house keeper, but the outlook is not great with the non-bulletproof people eating wheat, corn, and soy all day long.


I am hoping you have insight on this issue. Thank you, Anna


  • ACH85ACH85 ✭✭

    Hi Anna, I'm a man, but this does not seem like a woman-specific topic despite the forum, so I will reply. 


    There shouldn't be any issues with being physically close to these food items. There aren't any "second-hand" issues unless perhaps you were in a flour factory and bits of wheat were in the air. Even then, gluten causes issues in the gut. Breathed into the lungs it would just be like any other particulate matter in the air. 


    Social isolation is probably a lot more damaging than occasionally ingesting the foods you describe, and certainly more damaging than just being near them. Most of us work in environments with coworkers that eat these foods regularly with no issues. Even Dave has put up YouTube videos on the best foods to eat in Whole Foods, and done so inside a Whole Foods, with the scents from the bakery and all the packaged products in the air. Being Bulletproof is about being resilient, not reacting to every imperfection in your environment. 


    I suggest you call your old friends and get together, regardless of what they choose to eat. Best wishes. 

  • RekaReka ✭✭✭

    It's not an infectious disease, nor the end of the world. There are much more important things about people than what they eat. Unless you are severely allergic, try to accept them the way they are. That's pretty much the only way how it works with people.

    It doesn't get easier... It's you who gets better.


    Is your social worker in that horse?


    Success has a price, not a secret.

  • SkeletorSkeletor The Conqueror Worm ✭✭✭
    edited March 2015

    My wife glanced at an advertisement that featured a loaf of bread and I left her.


    Too harsh?


    But more seriously, I think you are really overreacting. Unless you're deathly allergic to these things and can't have them in your immediate surroundings due to some outre medical condition, there's no reason to cut ties with people who eat grains and such. Even if you did, there'd probably be a more graceful solution anyhow.


    The more I read this, the more I think (hope) it's a troll.

    "I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima


    Let's be friends on MyFitnessPal!

  • Depending on your location you might be able to convince me to become your new BP live-in house keeper?

    Make, [then,] thyself to grow to the same stature as the Greatness which transcends all measure; leap forth from every body; transcend all Time; become Eternity; and [thus] shalt thou know God. Conceiving nothing is impossible unto thyself, think thyself deathless and able to know all,—all arts, all sciences, the way of every life.  – Corpus Hermeticum XI “The Mind of Hermes”

  • Logistical question: how often were you in the car with your housekeeper and for what reason?

    I would be careful how many people you fire over eating commodities, seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
  • Wow.  I have not had this issue.  Just like I don't want others judging my choices in my diet, I would not judge what others choose to eat.  Now, if someone came to me telling me about a health issue they were experiencing, say headaches, while they were eating junk food and drinking diet soda, I might tell them they should look at their food choices and mention how gluten and artificial sweeteners can cause headaches.  But what they eat isn't any of your concern otherwise.


    That being said, I do find myself cringing  when I see a friend eat a diet, chemical laden yogurt while telling me they are making healthier choices.  But several years ago I was doing the same thing.  It is part of their journey, and unless they ask for advice, don't give it. 


    You might find that you'll have more success if you maintain your friendships, model you great new health becoming that beacon they may need to make the decisions you have.  THAT, actually, has happened to me so many times.  People will want what you have. 


    If you really cannot tolerate being around someone who is eating a bowl of awful trail mix junk, then just tell her.  "hey, Mary, it really upsets me when I see you eating that.  It makes me want to barf."  If she is a good friend, it will open a dialog where you can discuss it and, perhaps, she will refrain from eating stuff like that when you two are together.    A a coworker of mine HATED cheese.  Even the smell of cheese would send her out of a room.  The lunch room was like a minefield for her at times.  Everyone thought her behavior was bizarre until she finally opened up about it.  After that people were very understanding and kind about the issue.  They still ate cheesy foods, but were considerate about it.  WiN for everyone!!!

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