Substitute For Meds
I have been battling with myself for the past year and decided that this forum would be a start to a healing process that I am in desperate need of...
To start, I am a Biochemistry major and junior at my university. I have always been a good student throughout high school and never had any problems academically. University proved to be quite a challenge, especially while working and completing undergraduate prerequisites as a biochem major. I was able to make it through the first couple of semesters with no problem. However, my life became pretty hectic very quickly and I always had to be on top of my game. I spoke to my doctor about being very overwhelmed with work and school . Thats when adderall came into my life. I knew exactly what it was for and its potential, never realizing that I would one day become dependent on it for everyday life. At the beginning I was using it as needed, progressing until I've had to use it for almost everything. I try to not use more than 10-20mg in non-consecutive days when I need it. The days that I don't take it I can't seem to complete anything, especially school work. I do drink bulletproof coffee almost everyday(except when i take it) and have tried some nootropics such as aniracetam, but it doesn't seem to help much. In fact, I have noticed that aniracetam actually throws off my mathematical abilities quite a lot making me feel "spacey" for a lack of better word. I have tried gaba wave and that seems to help a bit. Also I take B-complex, vitamin C , krill oil daily.
To make a long story short, I am at a breaking point. I have decided that I do not want to go through life depending on a pill.
After a year, I am still at a very small dose and still feel hope that indeed it is possible to return to the genuine guy that was full of life before this medication destroyed me. I went through a crisis at the beginning of the semester and I had to drop one of my classes and decided that it might be a good plan to take the next semester off as a sort of mental health break to balance myself out again.
Is there any suggestion/ guidance to help me with the process? Especially getting through this semester...