The Difference Between Knowing The Path And Actually Walking It
I wasn't sure where to start this thread, and I don't know exactly what kind of answers I'm looking for.
I feel like I'm living in a sort of purgatory.
The long and short of it is this: I know, more or less, exactly what I need to do each day to be successful and healthy. I know how to eat, how to exercise and how to supplement to improve my health. In the way of money, I know exactly what I need to do and how I need to work to make my financial goals a reality. It could be done, theoretically, within the course of a few months. I could lift myself from the depths of pseudo-poverty and live a good, good life, if only I truly worked at it. I could have a tremendously healthy and aesthetic body if only I implemented all of the things I've learned on this forum.
But I don't.
I want these things. I want good health, and physical strength. I hate being broke, not being able to provide enough for my family. I want the health and success. But maybe I just don't want them bad enough?
I know just what I need to do in order to attain all of those wants.
Apparently, I can't be arsed to pursue them with any diligence. And it's endlessly frustrating to me.
I know the path, but I can't seem to walk it.
None of you know me personally. But I'd like to know how many of you have felt something like this, or are currently feeling it.
Do you know the path? Do you refuse to walk it, like me? Why?
It is this WHY that eludes me. If I could hack just one thing in my life right now, it would be this indifference I feel. I eat well for a stretch and then stumble back into the comfort of old habits. I'm extremely productive for a while, and then I end up dicking around, seeking to do anything but the work I know I should be doing-- work that is ultimately rewarding to me.
I am in a really low place right now. I'd love to hear your thoughts, folks. I don't know if I'm just in a depression or something, but this is more or less the story of my life. And it's killing me.
"I know how to despise mere cool intelligence. What I want is intelligence matched by pure, physical existence, like a statue." --Yukio Mishima